a routine established. . .

I've settled into a routine. . .

I wake up. . .usually around 11am. . .

Turn on Itunes Genius Mix. . .my favorite is the Indie Rock mix--it ranges from The Smiths to Amanda Palmer to Okkervil River to The New Pornographers. . .(I secretly love that moment. . .seeing what Itunes decides I should start my day to)

Clean up a bit. . .

Shower.

Dress.

Email.

Then out my door. . .

I walk down the hill, passing the little old ladies sitting on the bench. I bow to them, smile, say hello (Ha-seyo!). . .a slight giggle is exchanged among them, and a little discussion. For my enjoyment, as I descend the hill, I think of what they may be saying. . ."americans, they're taking over this neighborhood!" "why doesn't she wear heals!" "she's wearing green again!?" Of course, these are all of my own imagining. . .it's a symptom of depression. . .i project my own insecurities into the minds of others. (or so my therapist told me) You had no idea depressives were so insightful, did you?

Notice I use the past tense of the therapist.

Yes, I admit, I have depressive tendencies. . .I also have manic tendencies. . .I also took medication. . .so it runs in my family. The most important thing to note is that yes I may be prone to certain idiosyncrasies. . .but aren't we all?? We don't always need medication, we just need to know how to deal with ourselves. . .

Back on topic. . .

The hill I live on runs into a street. . .a very busy street. . .I turn right, and then make my way down the sidewalk. . .bowing at the woman carrying her (what I suspect her grand child), crossing the street at the SK gas station, and then hurrying along to my favorite crosswalk. I wait for the light to change. . .

my headphones always on. . .playing a shuffle of music. . .but it is turned down low enough so that the sound compliments my surroundings. . .I can hear the truck roar by, and I can hear the woman shouting at me to buy flowers. . . I also hear the little girl laughing as she runs along with her father. . .I take it all in. . .always. . headphones (when used properly) don't isolate you from the world--they introduce you to it.

I cross the street. . .why is it my favorite you ask?? (or perhaps that is my own depressive tendencies projecting my insecurities on to you). . .but why would I be insecure about that--mmm, and a-round and a-round we go!--(silly mind). . .so, let's say, I suppose you ask. . .my answer is this. . .I think it is because of the buildings, and the smell of the city. . in this particular part there seems to be an abundance of metropolitan life. Now, I am a mountains and ocean girl--give me seclusion and beautiful surroundings, and I am truly happy--but, I need doses of heavy humanity (perhaps it's a side effect from my living in NYC). . .there is an energy that comes from tall buildings, roaring vehicles, and bustling people. . .I get a good dose at this crosswalk. . .

I wander into the grocery store. . pick up an apple. . .and head to work.

I never take the elevator. . .

I love the seven flights of stairs, I climb and climb, past the buildings, past the rubble, and there, as I turn the corner on the 5th story are mountains rising up past the buildings. Piercing the blue with their intense green.

A smile inevitably crosses my face. . .

I live in Korea. . .

Then I enter my classroom. . .rearrange the desks from the previous day. . .open the window. . .and begin to plan the day's lesson. . .

My kids greet me with smiles and "ahhhh, teacher today was not good. . ." I ask them why, and so the reason for being here begins.

And so I am complete. . .

I then go out with fellow workers. . .drink a bit. . .or wander home to read a book, or watch an episode of Breaking Bad. . .or Spaced. . .or of course, Arrested Development.

My life is very simple. . .but very extraordinary. Not because I live in the Korean Peninsula. . .but because I teach. . .I teach people to communicate. They laugh at me. . .they stop me in the hallway to say "Hi!". . .even past students come and visit me. I actually had one student buy a piece of art work that I made for the Open Market--just because I made it, not because it was any good. . .

As the tired old cliche goes. . .i have no idea how I ended up here, but I am so glad I did!

Yes, I have bad moments. . .yes, I have moments where I scream "WHHHHYYYY!!!" at the top of my psychosis (never out loud. . .don't want to alarm the neighbors). . .yes, I miss some really good people, but I can't help that I love where I am at.

And so the only quote I can leave you with my fine furry friends is from the late but glorious Mr. Douglas Adams. . ."I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I intended to be."

With that in mind. . .I linger on the question. . .Do I buy a couch??