a thought by any other name. . .

i find myself wondering what story to tell you. . .

do I tell you about the toothless grinning korean man in a sombrero singing to himself as he rode his bike down the alley, and left me smiling for the better part of the day?? (well, I guess I just did)

hmmmmm. . . .

should I go on about the World Cup, and the incredible weekend that involved witnessing Koreans beating Greeks on a relatively large screen high above an empty field surrounded by thousands of Koreans in red horns banging blue sticks together, followed by a Shisha bar, men in cardboard masks, the repetition of "da-dum-dumdum Nah-Ham Dayu!", and stumbling into the abandoned streets of a gray morning after the U.S. tied with England--a moment that included a man in a white dress sleeping soundly on a table.???

or should I elaborate on the stifling heat that even this southerner has trouble coping with?? My pores have literally turned into faucets and it is none too pretty when they get going. . .

do I tell you that I have Explosions in the Sky playing right now, and they are stirring the memory pool. . .

do I tell you that I went for a wander that lasted three hours and included a river, a funny little man who tried to bring me to the Lord in Korean--at least I think it was the Lord, he could've been selling my soul to the devil. . .and my vain attempt to understand a board game of sorts that involves white and black pieces and little old men.

maybe I should impart to you that most of the time, my students make my day. . .and most of the time my only goal is to make them laugh. . .but let's not let the company find out about that. . . my job is English not humor.

or perhaps I could tell you that the worst thing in the morning is a mosquito buzzing loudly by by my ear. . .

i could tell you about my introduction to the comedy sketches of Steve Brule. . .

or my favorite new joke. . .what is Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!

oooh. . .or that I had a conversation with my sister, that still has me laughing as she reminded me of some very specific moments of our cross country road trip from Montana to South Kackalacky. . .that involved a car, a truck, a lot of stuff, some rain, a crazy person, two funny mechanics and one very unfortunate incident and I am not talking about the car accident.

i could also mention that I went to an open-mic night at a local bar on wednesday and heard some really lovely music by teachers I work with, and other expats sharing their talents. . .moments like that always make me wish I would've kept playing. . .what a gift to be able to pick up an instrument and create through it. . .I envy that talent. My creativity relies on the words of others and the communion of a cast. . .I can't exercise it at any moment--and this is why I find myself writing more and more these days. . . .

or should i tell you, that I think I have nothing to say right now??

but looking back, I guess I had more than I thought. No need to pontificate on any one thing I suppose, but rather just lay it all out as it comes to mind.

No elaboration. . .

No poetry. . .

No padding. . .

Just thoughts as they come. . .

yes. . .yes. . .yes. . .that is what I will leave my three readers with tonight. . .just a bunch of flibbertygibbit ramblings. . .

you are welcome. . .

and of course a quote. . .now because music is my most passionate obsession, and I've had so many new musical discoveries in the past few weeks, I have to leave you with one of my favorite musical quotes. . .

"I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort when I am filled with music." --George Eliot (a female novelist, mind you:))

be well my furry friends.

Is that a hiccup I smell??

There's been a hiccup in the previously mentioned routine. . .

a very good thing indeed. . .

I've taken up a taekwondoe class, which consistently reminds me I am neither Asian nor coordinated, but the instructor is patient and has a good nature, so I have to continue to train--there will be a moment in a dark alley. . .and I will use my training. . .it will be rainy, fumes of the city communing with the acid rain, I will be walking home quietly unaware. . .and there, in the shadows lurks a. . .a . . .a dog, yes a dog, and he is stalking his prey, a gutter cat. . .my super taekwondoe senses flare. . .in one quick moment I swoop up the cat and shield him from the attacking dog. . .and the world will be right again. . .well, sort of. (and to think I'm not a big cat person. . .)

I've also started running again. I, foolishly, took a month off. . .I was so used to running in the country or in a gym, that when presented with only city streets to run, I became intimidated. Body suffered quite a bit, but things are on the mend. . .In my "little" city of 2.2 million people, there is a park--an oasis--of green beauty with what seems to be never-ending crooked trails that take you here there and everywhere. I find myself getting lost in them, and I am perfectly okay with that. Along the trails are workout stations, which include weights, hula hoops, and stretching machines. . .they seemed to be geared towards seniors, but I quite enjoy them.

I do love getting lost in a run. . .

The people around me are nothing short of amazing. I always have a fear of not making friends. . .it must come from my years in private school where I felt ridiculed and never good enough due to a contradictory religion that seems to serve no purpose but to make rich people feel good about themselves (but that's another story). . .so, I always enter each new moment with heavy trepidation--and it can be crippling at times. And so I wonder why I continually throw myself into these situations. . .but so I do, and, you know. . .I always end up meeting amazing people, with extraordinary talents and insights and humor.

. . .the strange thing. . .

I always become silent among them (meaning all people I meet in life), and take them in. I lose my own wit and humor for awhile. It is off-putting, and I am not sure why it happens. . .I find myself testing the waters--throwing in a joke here and there and see how it is received. . .

so far so good. . .I find myself coming alive more. . .

I love getting to know new people. . .I love getting to know these people.

I am loving this life moment. . .I know I will not stay here forever. I still have many more things to see and do, but because of this experience I am adding to my list of things to do--like Madagascar. . .yeah, I am going there.

and the teaching. . .well, I have my moments as all teachers do I suppose, but overall, it is good. The kids are awesome despite how much they make me crazy at times, and so is the academy I work for. . .

So, I realize I haven't written in a while. . .I think I am still trying to figure out what this blog is. . .it started out as an outlet to tell people what I am doing. . .but it's turned into a place where I just reflect, with bits of Korea thrown in here and there. . .perhaps it is a bit narcissistic, but it is not intentional. . .I just think that's what happens with experiences. . .we relate them to ourselves, and what are we made up of--moments. Just moments. . .good and bad. . .the scenery may change or stay the same, but the moments are always churning.

and so a quote. . .a bit off kilter, and nothing to do with the tone of the writing, but it works for me right now. . "alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me--so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." --Homer Simpson

a routine established. . .

I've settled into a routine. . .

I wake up. . .usually around 11am. . .

Turn on Itunes Genius Mix. . .my favorite is the Indie Rock mix--it ranges from The Smiths to Amanda Palmer to Okkervil River to The New Pornographers. . .(I secretly love that moment. . .seeing what Itunes decides I should start my day to)

Clean up a bit. . .

Shower.

Dress.

Email.

Then out my door. . .

I walk down the hill, passing the little old ladies sitting on the bench. I bow to them, smile, say hello (Ha-seyo!). . .a slight giggle is exchanged among them, and a little discussion. For my enjoyment, as I descend the hill, I think of what they may be saying. . ."americans, they're taking over this neighborhood!" "why doesn't she wear heals!" "she's wearing green again!?" Of course, these are all of my own imagining. . .it's a symptom of depression. . .i project my own insecurities into the minds of others. (or so my therapist told me) You had no idea depressives were so insightful, did you?

Notice I use the past tense of the therapist.

Yes, I admit, I have depressive tendencies. . .I also have manic tendencies. . .I also took medication. . .so it runs in my family. The most important thing to note is that yes I may be prone to certain idiosyncrasies. . .but aren't we all?? We don't always need medication, we just need to know how to deal with ourselves. . .

Back on topic. . .

The hill I live on runs into a street. . .a very busy street. . .I turn right, and then make my way down the sidewalk. . .bowing at the woman carrying her (what I suspect her grand child), crossing the street at the SK gas station, and then hurrying along to my favorite crosswalk. I wait for the light to change. . .

my headphones always on. . .playing a shuffle of music. . .but it is turned down low enough so that the sound compliments my surroundings. . .I can hear the truck roar by, and I can hear the woman shouting at me to buy flowers. . . I also hear the little girl laughing as she runs along with her father. . .I take it all in. . .always. . headphones (when used properly) don't isolate you from the world--they introduce you to it.

I cross the street. . .why is it my favorite you ask?? (or perhaps that is my own depressive tendencies projecting my insecurities on to you). . .but why would I be insecure about that--mmm, and a-round and a-round we go!--(silly mind). . .so, let's say, I suppose you ask. . .my answer is this. . .I think it is because of the buildings, and the smell of the city. . in this particular part there seems to be an abundance of metropolitan life. Now, I am a mountains and ocean girl--give me seclusion and beautiful surroundings, and I am truly happy--but, I need doses of heavy humanity (perhaps it's a side effect from my living in NYC). . .there is an energy that comes from tall buildings, roaring vehicles, and bustling people. . .I get a good dose at this crosswalk. . .

I wander into the grocery store. . pick up an apple. . .and head to work.

I never take the elevator. . .

I love the seven flights of stairs, I climb and climb, past the buildings, past the rubble, and there, as I turn the corner on the 5th story are mountains rising up past the buildings. Piercing the blue with their intense green.

A smile inevitably crosses my face. . .

I live in Korea. . .

Then I enter my classroom. . .rearrange the desks from the previous day. . .open the window. . .and begin to plan the day's lesson. . .

My kids greet me with smiles and "ahhhh, teacher today was not good. . ." I ask them why, and so the reason for being here begins.

And so I am complete. . .

I then go out with fellow workers. . .drink a bit. . .or wander home to read a book, or watch an episode of Breaking Bad. . .or Spaced. . .or of course, Arrested Development.

My life is very simple. . .but very extraordinary. Not because I live in the Korean Peninsula. . .but because I teach. . .I teach people to communicate. They laugh at me. . .they stop me in the hallway to say "Hi!". . .even past students come and visit me. I actually had one student buy a piece of art work that I made for the Open Market--just because I made it, not because it was any good. . .

As the tired old cliche goes. . .i have no idea how I ended up here, but I am so glad I did!

Yes, I have bad moments. . .yes, I have moments where I scream "WHHHHYYYY!!!" at the top of my psychosis (never out loud. . .don't want to alarm the neighbors). . .yes, I miss some really good people, but I can't help that I love where I am at.

And so the only quote I can leave you with my fine furry friends is from the late but glorious Mr. Douglas Adams. . ."I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I intended to be."

With that in mind. . .I linger on the question. . .Do I buy a couch??